Love Geordie style

We were delighted to be invited to Tyneside recently to explore the subject of love.
Twenty couples were warmly welcomed with a glass of wine and a selection of delicious desserts which made it a fun night out exploring ‘What is Love, Actually?’ The evening also included film clips and fun, personal stories and an introduction to the Five Love Languages. Here are just a few of the many great comments we had which speak for themselves:

“Absolutely brilliant…. Really enjoyed it and found it very interesting, thought provoking and helpful. Made us feel comfortable and relaxed”.

“Perfect balance of time as a couple and upfront chat… engaging, relevant and not even cringey.”

“A great chance to talk intentionally about our relationship. We have had conversations we might not have had otherwise.”

“Very honest and real. It has given us lots more to discuss and a plan to go forward.”

“Very interesting and engaging, I want to learn more.”

We had been invited by Dave & Nicola Bass who lead Tyneside Vineyard to help start something new in their community to support marriage.
Lots of the couples left wanting more. At least one ‘Together’ group will start locally and eleven people expressed an interest in coming to ‘A Day Together’. The FamilyLife team look forward to seeing what’s going to happen next in Newcastle.

“I would certainly come to something like this again and invite others too.”

The 10 HABITS of highly ineffective relationships!

There’s a lot of advice around to improve our relationships. Boring isn’t it…all that self-improvement! Instead here are some GREAT ideas to help you develop habits that will really mess them up… in reverse order…
#10. Don’t do more than the absolute MINIMUM
Your mantra should be “I’ll do my bit if you do yours” and of course your partner will never measure up so you’ll be justified in withdrawing your support. If you are put in a position where you’re forced to do something then go for the easy, quick fix option which is bound to fail.
#9. Ignore any issues – BIG or small
Whatever you do sweep all potential issues under the proverbial carpet. If anyone tries to persuade you to face up to something just ignore them, whether it’s your partner or a well-intentioned friend (they are not well intentioned, just a busybody or misguided!) IF anyone in the relationship needs to change make sure it’s NOT you.
#8. Master the art of POOR communication
Just don’t do it! If your partner insists on talking keep your responses to the minimum or at least superficial. For longer chats choose your words carefully; words that are bound to inflame your partner are things like “you NEVER…” “You ALWAYS…” “I’m sorry, BUT…” and the killer is “why can’t YOU be more like…!” These kinds of things usually end in arguments so you’ll have an excuse to walk away. There are times when your partner may want to REALLY talk and a good ploy is to try walking away mid sentence or even interrupting them. Criticising them works a treat too. If that fails then keep texting or looking at your mobile phone so that you don’t have to fully concentrate on what they are saying (in fact your mobile phone should be your best friend). If by any chance your partner corners you for a talk always think the worst.
#7. Manage your spending habits your way
Wildly different spending habits can really drive couples apart. Try not to be pinned down to budgets or sharing bank accounts, anything that could bring about agreement or sensible habits.  Signing up to lots of store cards and spending to the limit will almost certainly get you in to financial trouble and probably put a lot of strain on your relationship (especially if you avoid talking about it).
#6. Avoid spending too much time together
Make sure you spend your time where it really counts: at work, shopping, in the pub or your favourite coffee hangout, at the health club,  playing computer games etc. If your partner wants to DO stuff together make sure you have a list of excuses at hand: “the boss needs…” “I need time out to…” If you are a male; avoid anything that could count as romantic e.g. picnics on the beach. If you’re female; avoid anything that could be classed as an adventure or going to watch sporting events together.
#5. Sex – let it fizzle!
All physical contact should be avoided if you want to starve your relationship of love and affection; kissing, cuddling, holding hands are out. If your partner insists on having sex then make sure the bedroom routine becomes boring and lacks any kind of passion or fun. Another idea is just don’t wash very often! After a while your partner will lose interest.
#4. Ignore emotional needs
If you don’t know what an emotional need is then you’re probably a natural so just keep doing what you’re doing and your partner will feel more and more lonely and isolated over time.
#3. Don’t risk resolving conflict
You must avoid any situation which might resolve any lurking problems. Let’s face it resolving conflict could be slightly painful and you might end up losing! There are two good ploys; either pretend nothing is wrong and refuse to talk about it or rant and rave until your partner backs down. If you want to start a difficult discussion then it’s best to pick a good time … after 10pm will do the trick, especially if you’re partner has had a bad day or has something important going on the next day.
#2. Be unfaithful
Love affairs are only one option (and what your partner doesn’t know won’t hurt them). Pornography does count as unfaithfulness and experts are warning about its harm but at least you won’t catch any STDs! You could find more subtle forms of unfaithfulness… the career affair… the hobby affair…the shopping affair. In fact anything that fulfils you OUTSIDE of the relationship could potentially be turned in to an affair if you work at it. You can even hide behind your kids!
#1. Be selfish
Whatever you do make sure you look after number one first! Don’t worry about stepping on other people’s toes (especially if it’s your partner – they need to toughen up). An expert in this area will be able to build him or herself up in public whilst criticising their partner at the same time. Indulge yourself… do what feels good for you and hang the consequences. If you’re not happy then don’t do it! If your partner can’t live with this then let them leave (plenty more fish in the sea).

House staging – how to arrange your furniture to attract buyers

Houses look pretty sad and forlorn without furniture in them, and it’s far easier to sell a house when it looks lived in. So furniture choice and placement will play a large part in the success of your sale.

   
Many of us probably have more furniture than our rooms really need, so when you’re selling it’s important to realise that the best way to lay out your furniture for sale photos and viewings may well be very different to the way you have it arranged for normal, everyday life.
Remembering that the most important thing to emphasise is space, first look at each room in turn and establish whether you could temporarily remove any unnecessary furniture items to make the room feel larger and more spacious. In living rooms, consider removing large coffee tables to free up floor space and make it easier for people to stand in the centre of the room and look around it. In dining rooms, store away a couple of chairs or a large display cabinet. In bedrooms, think carefully about whether the room is large enough for the armchair, three door wardrobe and dressing table, or whether those items actually make the room appear over filled and smaller than it is.
Sometimes you may wish to consider downsizing some of your furniture – the king-size bed that you sleep in may technically fit in your bedroom, but if there’s no room for anything else it’ll make it appear like a very small bedroom. Replacing it with a double bed for the short term will make the room feel more spacious and that will be more attractive to your potential buyer.
Once you’ve edited your furniture, next you need to arrange it carefully. The most important view of a room is that from the entry doorway as that’s the first impression buyers will get when they view the house, so arrange the furniture with that viewpoint in mind. Choose a positive focal point and position furniture to guide the eye towards that focal point.
Anna’s top five furniture placement tips

1. Arrange furniture for the camera when your photos are being taken and if necessary rearrange for viewings, with the view from the entry door being the most important. Don’t think that just because your everyday layout works for you that it’s the best layout for sale time.
2. Don’t let the TV be the star of the show – you’re not selling the TV, you’re trying to sell the room. Move the TV out of the spotlight, even if that one spot is the only place the aerial cable will reach. Is watching tonight’s Corrie really more important than selling your house? And choose instead a focal point that will actually be there once you’ve moved out – a fireplace, a window with a lovely view, an architectural feature. If the room doesn’t have one of these, create a lifestyle focal point with a beautifully-made bed or a conversation area.
3. Avoid sofas or chairs with their backs facing the entry door – they block the view of the room beyond them and look very unwelcoming.
4. Keep the route from the entry door to the window as clear as you can – most people will want to look out of each window so make it easy for them by not placing furniture in their way. Also keep clear any through routes to other rooms.
5. Use furniture to properly define spaces – if a room is classed as a bedroom on your floorplan then it should have a bed in it. Most people feel more comfortable with open plan spaces when the use for each area is clear, so use bookcases, large plants and the way that your other furniture is angled to define the spaces.

This flat for sale in St Ives has an open plan living area that has been nicely defined with the use of a sofa to distinguish between the dining area and the lounge space. However, the furniture is placed very close together leaving very little space for viewers to squeeze through to the terrace, so the room will feel smaller than it is. Removing the coffee would provide more space for the sofas to be rearranged, allowing a larger through route to the dining area and terrace.
The photo of this property listing in Carbus Bay uses furniture very well to draw you in and ask what those chairs in the raised bay are looking at. More photos reveal the stunning views from this window. The furniture placement highlights the star feature of the property with the ideal positioning of the chairs in the bay and the absence of a bold focal point in the rest of the room.

Mortgage affordability deteriorates for first time buyers

Mortgage advances to people buying a house fell for the first time in five months during August in a further sign that the property market is slowing down, figures revealed today.

A total of 65,400 loans were advanced to homebuyers in August, 3 per cent less than in July, according to the Council of Mortgage Lenders.
But despite the month-on-month dip, lending levels were still 8 per cent higher by number and 19 per cent higher by value than in the same month of 2013, making it the best August for house purchase lending since 2007.
The drop was most marked among first time buyers, with 28,900 mortgages advanced to people buying their first home in August, 4 per cent less than in July andthe first fall since January this year.
Affordability for first time buyers is becoming increasingly stretched on the back of recent strong house price gains, with the average person getting on to the property ladder borrowing 3.42 times their income, up from 3.37 times their pay 12 months ago.
The deterioration in affordability came despite the fact that the average amount first time buyers borrowed dropped to £126,198 in August, down from £127,500 in July.
But record low interest rates ensured repayments remained affordable, with first time buyers typically spending 19.7 per cent of their total pay on capital and interest mortgage payments, still significantly below the recent peak of 24.8 per cent reached in December 2007.
There was also a dip in remortgage activity during the month, although this is not unusual for the time of year.
There were 4 per cent fewer loans advanced to people moving to a new deal compared with July, while there was also an 11 per cent fall year-on-year.
Paul Smee, director general of the CML, said: “The lending climate had a glass half full, glass half empty feel about it in August.
“On the one hand it saw a decline in all lending types month-on-month, which would suggest a levelling off of the market.
“Yet, on the other hand, we saw the highest August house purchase lending levels since 2007, and the recent Bank of England Credit Conditions Survey expects an upward trend in remortgaging in the final months of the year.”
Mark Harris, chief executive of mortgage broker SPF Private Clients, said it was “curious” that remortgaging levels remained so weak despite the historically cheap rates currently available.
He said: “As these are not proving enough of a draw, it is unlikely that numbers will flock to remortgage until an interest rate rise is imminent.
“Some borrowers may be concerned about their ability to remortgage given the new affordability criteria and may find themselves stuck on their lender’s standard variable rate when rates do start to rise.”
The data came as the Royal Institution of Chartered Surveyors said the steam appeared to be coming out of the British property market as demand from potential buyers fell for the third month running, while the number of homes on the market remained broadly flat.
The group said house price momentum slowed to its lowest level since June 2013 in September, with surveyors predicting house prices will rise by 2.1 per cent during the coming year.

Why everyone should be backing Small Business Saturday

Just a month to go until Small Business Saturday and UK small firms are gearing up for a mega sales push as celebrities such as model Daisy Lowe throw their support behind the day 

 

Businesses across the UK are gearing up for the second annual Small Business Saturday, taking place on December 6. The day-long event, which is supported by all political parties, was launched to shine a spotlight on the nation’s 4.9m small and medium-sized companies and encourage consumers to switch their shop from a chain to an independent business.

Small Business Saturday (SBS) originated in the States, where it is in its fifth year. In 2013, consumers in the US spent $5.7bn (£3.6bn) with independent merchants on the day. Last year in the UK, small companies earned £460m, and the organisers hope to raise that figure significantly this year.

SBS has attracted the support of business groups including the Federation of Small Businesses, the Association of Town and City Management, Association of Convenience Stores, and the Northern Ireland Independent Retail Trade Association. To raise further awareness of the event, a Small Business Saturday bus tour of the UK will start in Leeds on November 17, stopping at 12 locations.

While 40pc of local authorities backed the first campaign, Michelle Ovens, who runs SBS in the UK, predicts that almost 100pc will be involved this December. Amersham town council, for example, is helping local small businesses through a day-long Christmas showcase in Amersham-on-the Hill. To add some celebrity sparkle, Peter Blake, the artist who created the sleeve design for The Beatles album Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, has been drafted in to create a piece of celebratory art featuring UK small businesses.

Daisy Lowe, the model, will lend her support to the campaign by appearing at a yet unnamed an independent shop on Small Business Saturday, while the award-winning filmmaker, Heidi Greensmith, recorded footage of three independent shops to create the short film Saturday.

Businesses across the UK are gearing up for the second annual Small Business Saturday, taking place on December 6. The day-long event, which is supported by all political parties, was launched to shine a spotlight on the nation’s 4.9m small and medium-sized companies and encourage consumers to switch their shop from a chain to an independent business.

Small Business Saturday (SBS) originated in the States, where it is in its fifth year. In 2013, consumers in the US spent $5.7bn (£3.6bn) with independent merchants on the day. Last year in the UK, small companies earned £460m, and the organisers hope to raise that figure significantly this year.

SBS has attracted the support of business groups including the Federation of Small Businesses, the Association of Town and City Management, Association of Convenience Stores, and the Northern Ireland Independent Retail Trade Association. To raise further awareness of the event, a Small Business Saturday bus tour of the UK will start in Leeds on November 17, stopping at 12 locations.

While 40pc of local authorities backed the first campaign, Michelle Ovens, who runs SBS in the UK, predicts that almost 100pc will be involved this December. Amersham town council, for example, is helping local small businesses through a day-long Christmas showcase in Amersham-on-the Hill. To add some celebrity sparkle, Peter Blake, the artist who created the sleeve design for The Beatles album Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, has been drafted in to create a piece of celebratory art featuring UK small businesses.

Daisy Lowe, the model, will lend her support to the campaign by appearing at a yet unnamed an independent shop on Small Business Saturday, while the award-winning filmmaker, Heidi Greensmith, recorded footage of three independent shops to create the short film Saturday.


11 ways to get the best out of Small Business Saturday
1. Put posters and stickers up in your windows; download the digital pack from the website and use the logo and banners on your website and social networks.
2. Share your pictures of your business decked out in Small Business Saturday posters on Twitter with the #SmallBizSatUk tag and tag your local region.
3. Download the Small Business Saturday free social media guide from the website for tips on how to make the most of social media and Small Business Saturday.
4. Speak to your local authority and encourage them to support the campaign in your local community – find out if they have anything planned yet that you can get involved in.
5. Speak to other small businesses in your community and networks and encourage them to get involved.
6. Host an event on December 6 (or the week preceding that Saturday if you don’t operate on a Saturday).
7. Encourage consumers through the door/online by offering promotions, cups of tea, mince pies, bands/music, anything that demonstrates that this is a day to celebrate and get involved in.
8. Write to your local councillor and MP and encourage them to pop down to see your event.
9. Contact your local press and make them aware of how you are making the most of Small Business Saturday. Use the campaign as a great PR opportunity for your business!
10. Look at where you can support other small businesses, e.g. in your supply chain.
11. Tell your friends, neighbours, schools – everyone you know – that Small Business Saturday is happening, that you are supporting it and they should too. Spread the word on Twitter and Facebook with the hashtag #SmallBizSatUK

Business leaders demand cross-party pledge on EU vote

More than 1,000 businessmen and women have put their names to the Business for Britain campaign since its formation just 18 months ago 

 

More than 500 business leaders have signed a letter calling for all political parties to promise a referendum on the UK’s continued membership of the European Union by 2017.

The figures, who include hedge fund billionaire Sir Michael Hintze and banking tycoon Henry Angest, have signed up to Business for Britain, the campaign group that is pushing for the UK’s relationship with the EU to be torn up and renegotiated. Its plea comes as Britain’s relationship with EU members becomes increasingly strained over the Prime Minister’s refusal to pay a £1.7bn budget surcharge demanded by Brussels.

The new signatories, who have taken out a double page advert in today’s Sunday Telegraph business section mean that more than 1,000 businessmen and women have put their names to the campaign since its formation just 18 months ago.

Business for Britain was set up in April 2013 by 500 business leaders including John Caudwell, founder of Phones4u (Founder); Sir Stuart Rose, former Marks & Spencer chairman; Lord Harris, founder of Carpetright; and Lord Wolfson, the chief executive of Next.

Robert Hiscox, founder of Hiscox Insurance, and Peter Cruddas, sits on its board, while Lord Bell, chairman of BPP Communications, Sir Rocco Forte, the hotelier, and entrepreneur Luke Johnson sit on the campaign’s advisory board.

The group’s central demand is for EU renegotiation followed by an In/Out referendum by 2017, which the Conservatives have pledged to hold if they are re-elected next May. Business for Britain says this weekend’s announcement is in stark contrast to the position of business lobby group the CBI, which holds its conference this week.
The CBI’s leadership has constantly warned against the “uncertainty” and “political risk” of an EU referendum and the “negative consequences” of the PM’s strategy, the group says.
Business for Britain’s position also pits it against campaign group Business for New Europe, a campaign group founded by public relations executive Roland Rudd that is staunchly pro-Europe and argues that leaving the EU would have dire consequences for Britain and its long-term economic health.
Business for Britain says its stance is backed up by independent polling from YouGov, which shows that 66pc of business leaders support an EU referendum, demonstrating that the CBI “is out of touch with mainstream business opinion on this issue”, it claims.
Alan Halsall, co-chair of Business for Britain said: “The growing number of signatories represents the ever increasing business support for an EU referendum. Businesses large and small are clear that they want a new deal from the EU and that the best way to secure one is by giving the public a long overdue vote on our membership of the European Union.”
“It’s vital though that the public are provided with the best options possible, which means securing reforms …But if the EU fails to reform, then “in” at all costs is not acceptable or conducive for our long-term economic future,” Mr Halsall said.